Recognising the role forgiveness plays in your relationship and its importance in daily life, can bring about significant changes in your relationship. If forgiveness is the decision or choice to give up the right for vengeance, retribution, and negative thoughts, then it can be starting point for healing and reconciliation. It can facilitate a process that promotes healing and relief when working through deep hurts.
It is important to remember however, that forgiveness is not about forgetting, condoning, or perpetuating injustice. It is not granted on demand and it doesn’t automatically guarantee reconciliation and unfortunately, there may be times in your relationship when you are unable to forgive. It is at these times that communication of these deep routed issues need to be discussed.
Putting effort into the process of forgiveness can bring about positive change.
Discuss the following with your partner:
- How are unforgiven issues currently impacting the health of your relationship?
- Is there a cluster of unacknowledged everyday lapses in thoughtfulness causing resentment?
- Is there a significant hurt that needs attention?
- When you forgive or are forgiven by your partner, do you experience a sense of relief? If so, describe to your partner what this sense of relief feels like.
- What are the easiest things to forgive and what are the hardest?
- How is forgiving your partner different or similar to forgiving another member of your family?
If forgiveness seems unachievable, it’s okay to seek professional help.
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Consider taking an assessment or working through our Discussion Guide for Couples… that’s a great place start! Tune in for more tips next week.
Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.
More tips at www.couplecheckup.com.au, tune in next week…
Take the Couple Checkup Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.
The CoupleCheckup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The CoupleCheckup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.
The CoupleCheckup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the CoupleCheckup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.