Expectations can negatively impact your relationship if they are unrealistic or uncommunicated to your partner.
The next time you or your partner feel disappointed because of an unmet expectation, talk about it. Try to identify why the expectation was not met. Was it too high to achieve? Was it not communicated? Did the expectation change over time without one partner knowing? Gaining some understanding and resolution out of the experience can help both of you meet future expectations.
Identify your expectation filter and begin to understand its impact on your relationship. Take a few moments at the end of the day to reflect on expectations you had for your partner and evaluate your partner’s expectations that you met. Journal this reflection each night for a period of time to notice patterns – your expectation filter will become clearer.
If you and your partner do this individually, you can discuss what you discover together to better understand how expectations impact your relationship.
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Consider taking an assessment or working through our Discussion Guide for Couples… that’s a great place start!
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The CoupleCheckup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The CoupleCheckup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.
The CoupleCheckup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the CoupleCheckup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.