Couples exist on a spectrum between “I” and “We”, but the key is to strive for a healthy balance that strengthens your relationship.
Working toward or maintaining balance between togetherness and separateness requires healthy communication. Talk to each other about what balance feels like for each of you. It won’t always be equal and it will change throughout your life together but have the conversation and negotiate an equitable outcome.
Take time with your partner to discuss the following:
- What are the benefits to having interests and commitments independent of your partner?
- Does it help bring you closer to your partner?
- How can the balance of togetherness and separateness improve in your relationship?
- What do you need to feel close to your partner and still feel independent at the same time?
- Consider judgement – Do you ever feel that your family or friends judge you and your partner for spending too much time together or apart?
- What does it feel like when you recognise this judgement?
- Does this impact your decision to spend more or less time with your partner?
If you and your partner ever feel overwhelmed by your results or the ensuing discussion, we encourage you to seek out professional support. Call us.
Tune in for more tips next week.
Do you need help with an issue or problem? Our approach helps to generate deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations can restore insight and understanding about one another.
More tips at www.couplecheckup.com.au, tune in next week…
Simply click on the Register button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.
The CoupleCheckup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The CoupleCheckup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.
The CoupleCheckup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the CoupleCheckup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.