Exploring relationship roles and your expectations about how household responsibilities will be shared is vital towards understanding each other’s preferences for traditional or equalitarian roles in your relationship.
- How do you plan to balance your work with household tasks and responsibilities?
- Are there certain tasks that neither of you like to do?
- What would need to happen in this area to make it feel most fair?
Often our traditional or equalitarian behaviours are bought into out relationship from our family of origin. If you expect to have an equal relationship, where you and your partner share household responsibilities or you feel that you would be happier if there was a more even balance in your relationship, then you should explore family of origin in more depth.
When it comes to roles and responsibilities, both partners should be willing to adjust.
- What adjustments do you feel a wife must be willing to make?
- What adjustments do you feel a husband must be willing to make?
- What type of adjustments are you not willing to make?
- Have you talked about the adjustments both of you will have to make when you are married?
Are you concerned about doing more than your share of the household tasks.
- Have you shared this concern with your partner?
- Why do you feel that you are doing/will do more than your share of the tasks?
- What do you feel is a fair share of the household tasks?
- What can both of you do now to resolve this issue?
We expect to divide household tasks based on our interests and skills rather than in traditional roles.
- What roles did your parents choose in regards to household tasks?
- What do you see your role to be?
- What do you see your partner’s role to be?
If both partners are working, and one partner is doing a greater share of household tasks for example, then this inequity needs to be raised with your partner.
- Have you shared with each other what you would like for your roles to be regarding household tasks?
If not then you may need to or seek assistance from a marriage educator or relationship counselor.
One approach is to complete the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment or Couple Checkup. Each tool is customised to your relationship type and helps identify each other’s unique strengths and growth areas. For the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment, a facilitator provides feedback sessions, helping couples to discuss and understand their results while teaching them proven relationship skills. For couple checkup, the assessment and resulting reports are self-administered.
Contract: www.prepare-enrich.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #prepareenrich
For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au #couplecheckup #relationship
The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.
The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.