Redesign family systems: Eight ways to enrich marriage and family relationships

Reconsidering and reshaping our family systems can get us on a path to achieving our goals and will free us up to be a more effective spouse, parent and worker. Redesigning family systems and restating our family goals and plans, can bring about significant changes to our every day life.

All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.

Adapted from the late Stephen R. Coveys book, Principle Centred Leadership, the following 8 ways to Enrich Marriage and Family Relationships provides a guide to principles that are important to marriage. Each principle requires reflection, discussion and action.

These eight principles help to make marriage last:

Principle 5 – Redesign family systems:

    The way we communicate and solve problems in our home is vital to ensure a lasting, satisfying marriage. Additionally the modeling we provide our children shapes them and sets them up for their own relationships. By reviewing our family systems, goals and plans, discipline systems and the way we model appropriate behavior, can revitalise marriage and sustain it.
    Delegation of tasks and bringing more order to the everyday workings of our home can provide the jolt that our family needs. Simply through the process of engaging all family members to review family systems ensures everyone has a voice, is heard and can impact in ensuring a more pleasant home environment.
    State and restate your goals and plans. Think and talk about the short, mid and long term objectives and things that need to happen now to achieve the larger, more audacious goals.
    In summary, redesign family systems, review goals and plans, rethink stewardship and discipline, teaching and training and the way we model appropriate behavior. Reflect, discuss and take intentional steps to change, revitalise and enrich our marriage, ensuring marriage is sustained and endures.

This principle requires reflection, discussion and action. Reconsider and reshape your roles and take time out to discuss with your family, friends and colleagues and take intentional steps to readjust your roles. Be intentional, make it happen.

Principle six, next week…

More tips at, tune in next week…

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The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

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