How to be More Present in Your Relationship

The more tasks we can accomplish at once, the more productive we feel. We must admit though, that often these are tasks we can complete rather mindlessly— folding laundry while texting your friend and catching up on your favorite show. Your relationship however, should not be one of these things, it deserves your full attention.

Here are four tips for being more present in your relationship:

  1. Focus on the here and now—literally! Have you ever been at a concert where you look across the crowd and see glowing cell phones dotting every row—fans recording the action, instead of just enjoying the live performance in front of them? Yes, taking videos and photos captures moments for posterity, but so does making a conscious effort to soak in the immediate experience. Think about how you feel in the moment, something photos cannot always convey.
  2. Stop lying awake at night. Try to avoid dwelling on past mistakes or things you or your partner should or should not have done—forgive and let things go. Don’t worry about controlling the future either—even the best laid plans won’t allow you to predict what’s to come. All you can do is make the most of the present!
  3. Limit distractions when you’re together. Set aside designated time do so, whether it is a few minutes or a few hours. Stash your cell phones, turn off the TV, and engage in real conversation, whether it is deep or silly. Cuddle on the couch. Make each other laugh. I’m sure you can think of a million other things you “should” be doing—focus on simply enjoying each other’s company. Those dishes can always be done tomorrow.
  4. See things as they are. When you have history with someone and believe you know them well, it’s easy to let your own perception and biases cloud the actual situation. Perhaps your partner forgot to let you know they’d be late getting home from work. Based on your history together, you could interpret this as a passive-aggressive response to the fact that you accidentally put a scratch in his/her new car the day before, or for some other reason that you create in your head. Or, you could see it as it is: they simply forgot. They are human, and they make mistakes, just like you.

Whether it is our hectic household, electronic devices, or even just our preoccupied minds, we face many distractions that can prevent us from giving our relationship our full attention. However, we can put in a conscious effort to be more present in our relationship—it’s worth it.

Take the Couple Checkup

Simply click on the Get Started button below relevant to your relationship – it couldn’t be easier. Once you have finished the questions you should receive your comprehensive personalised report in about 30 seconds.

Take the Couple Checkup

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

couple sit on meadow back to back

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