The seven habits are not a quick and easy formula for success, but together they form a powerful model for personal change. Adapted for couples, this series of posts is a respectful homage to Stephen R. Covey who died on July 16, 2012, age 79. Covey will be remembered as a transformational thinker on leadership and personal effectiveness. His book ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ his most lasting legacy.
The seven habits are a step by step model that empower couples to be intentional, to make decisions and to act, to move towards a known destination rather than reacting to whatever is happening at the time. Emphasising the importance of self awareness before successful engagement with your partner, the model is a process of learning new habits to create personal and interpersonal effectiveness.
The seven habits can be divided into two groups – the first three focus on “private victory” and the second three on “public victory”, with Habit 7 rounding the previous six to work towards refinement, self renewal and continuous improvement. Covey says “Private Victory precedes Public Victory” which means that you must master yourself before enjoying success outside of ourselves and with our partner.
- Habit 2: Begin with the End In Mind
- Stephen Covey talks about how easy it is to get caught up in the busy-ness of life, working hard to climb the ladder of success, only to discover that all this time the ladder has been leaning against the wrong wall. By creating the future in your mind, you can imagine a course of action, pursue it and then conscientiously decide what you will do (and won’t do) with your time, talents and tools. This ensures your ladder is up against the right wall before you start climbing. Through careful planning and constant assessment and re-evaluation of your plans, you know where you are going, you can plan where you are heading and you take time to see the bigger picture. This leads to greater personal effectiveness and synergy as a couple.
- A practical approach to keep you on track is to develop a couple or family mission statement. Through developing this with your partner (or family) and by the process of defining and sharing your objectives and clarifying your vision and purpose – creativity, innovation and empowerment are activated. Through negotiation, the agreed mission statement demonstrates your commitment to a shared mission fostering mutual understanding and greater intimacy.
Tune in next week for Habit 3.
The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.
The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.
For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship