The 5 big areas for conflict in relationships: Sex

Finances, Work (in and out of the house), Sex, In Laws and Children are the five big areas that dominate conflict in most relationships. Ensuring timely and open communication and pragmatic approaches to discussing issues that arise will ensure our relationship is sustained for the long-term.

All Relationships including those with your spouse and children (and others) tend towards entropy, disorder and dissolution. Marriage and divorces can be disastrous for those concerned, especially for children. Being intentional and principle centred can revitalise and enrich your marriage, ensuring your marriage is sustained and endures.

This series of blog posts explores each of the five big areas for conflict in relationships, emphasising that by taking intentional steps to discuss and resolve these issues, they will have a lasting effect.

    3. Sex: Our relationship with our life partner, is one of the most important and exciting relationships we will have and whilst it is one of constant change, learning and improvement, it is easy to get caught up in the demands of life to find we are living our lives narrowly focusing on everything other than our partner.
    Whilst the quality of our sexual relationship often reflects the quality of our overall relationship, neglecting or forgetting our marriage – and the needs of our partner for affection and intimacy – can have dire and expected consequences. If neglected there is a greater risk of an affair both for the one feeling neglected and the partner neglecting the other and none of us are exempt from the risk of an affair.
    Affair proof your marriage and establishing boundaries is vital: for example, don’t get into a situation where your relationship could be at risk. Your relationship with your partner is important and exclusive. Protect each other by:

  • Build each other up
  • Fill emotional needs
  • Set boundaries – avoid meetings, dinners etc with people of opposite sex
  • Keep sex alive – to love is to give
  • Be careful with emails
  • Pornography – to be avoided.
  • Always keep your sexual relationship interesting. Remember anything we constantly repeat will lose impact. 
  • Try to vary place and be creative, vary who initiates it.

  • Through continued commitment and loyalty we can tackle the ups and downs of our marriage together. Don’t allow the daily grind to become the focus to the exclusion of your marriage. The most important thing you can start doing is to focus on your partner and your sexual relationship. Affair proof your marriage and establish boundaries and be creative. You will get there if you are willing to invest the time and effort. Be proactive and do this for your marriage today. 

Do you need a boost in your relationship? The CoupleCheckup relationship assessment has been proven to assist couples for over 40 years. Looking for a facilitator to work with you, then contact us.

The CoupleCheckup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship.  These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another.  The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy.

The CoupleCheckup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the CoupleCheckup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.


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